Vertigo - exploring emotions through my art - Painting 1

So many of us journey through difficult experiences, and these often leave us disliking ourselves.

I believe that in the journey to self love, we first need to come to terms with our emotions.  Sad, happy, scared, courageous, angry or bitter - we need to allow ourselves to be human - to feel and to honor the emotions as they come and go as long as we don't use them as an excuse to hurt others.  

I tell my stories through my paintings, but when I first shared these pieces it was scary and felt very vulnerable.  You see, this story was about my pain and healing, living through and eventually leaving an emotionally abusive relationship.

I know that most of us have been through painful journeys for one reason or another.  Yet I was still surprised to find so many people relating to the emotions that I had painted.   Let me tell you a bit about each piece that was part of my very first solo art show - and comment below if you can relate.

but a minute ago, the world made sense...

now the ground slid away from below her feet.

oxygen pulled from her lungs,

as impressions collide with reality.

the voice that once brought comfort now hurls insults like shards of glass,

reeling... pleading... scrambling...

to the safety she once knew.

suffocating, she scans for explanations

what had she done?

...apologies.

When we are thrust into a situation that elicits deep pain, the first emotion is often pure shock.  This painting, "Vertigo", begins the story with bold, quick, red brushstrokes evoking the suddenness with which we realize the gravity of our new situation.   Almost as if gasping for breath, the color fades from our skin.  Head spinning, "vertigo" truly sets in, both physically and emotionally.  Safety that was once taken for granted now eludes us.  Nothing is certain, we question the reality of our past, fear for our future, and question the stability of the present. 

Most of us stay in this emotion for far too long.  We as women have been taught that we are often "too emotional", or perhaps that our thoughts and feelings don't matter.  This is so dangerous!  We must be able to hear that inner voice that says to us - even if it's just whispering - "something is wrong".  When we can hear that voice in ourselves and believe it, and when we can help our daughters to believe it themselves, and teach our sons to validate what they hear the women in their lives saying - then we can be safe.  Not only as individuals, but as communities, countries and as a world.  

See more about this painting here

 read the next blog in this series here

  The Chapel Gallery, Bracebridge ON where I had my first Solo Art Show, "Passages"

Watch more about the show HERE